My shopping addiction ("First Diary Entry")

Date:9/13/09

My first diary entry...my mission is to help myself by putting my thoughts on to words, maybe i could come to self realization.
Thank you to smartiesfreak in suggesting me to write on my blog more =)


So you may think when you see people who seem to have everything they want or everything you can dream of having, to having a perfect life. But let me assure you that the grass is never greener on the other side. No one is ever perfect or always happy. That is the trick with life, there are always ups and downs. You get hurt, you fall, but in the end you have to learn how to pick your self up and assure yourself that everything is alright. My life is never perfect, i always have pressure,worries,problems,and stress that i have to deal with. Sometimes the methods that i try to deal with these things with are not the best.

Everyone has their own way in coping with their problems and the negativity in their lives. And with me it is shopping. For me retail therapy is my obsession, to make myself feel better. I know this is not something to brag about because I am ashamed of it. I am ashamed of myself for taking the short cut out. Because I know that it is not a true resolution. It is a short term problem solver that i will have to do again and again. By the end of the day i still feel as empty as i've always had.

My boyfriend tries to help me stop this addiction. When I am with him he would try to keep me from buying things. On my good days I am perfectly capable of controlling myself and keeping myself from buying anything. The bad days are the ones that i fear. I have access to my computer and my credit card is in reach. Shopping online just takes a click of a button and after the rush of clicking one button you would want to click more and more. Until the next day, do you realize what you have done. And still in the end, you have learned nothing from this mistake because the next time that you have this horrible feeling, you would do the same thing for that wonderful temporary relief.

What do you do? To cope with your problems? What should I do to solve this addiction?

xo